There's Nothing 'Soft' About Soft Skills in Sales

Sales has changed. So has what makes someone great at it. 

 

Today, it's not just about hitting targets. It's about how you hit them - and how you build relationships that last beyond a single transaction. In a world of AI automation and high-speed decisions, it’s the human skills - empathy, curiosity, emotional regulation, resilience - that truly set people apart.  

 

And assessing for them is becoming make-or-break in recruitment. 

More and more, these so-called ‘soft’ skills are being reframed as human skills. Because machines can optimise, analyse, even persuade - but they can’t genuinely connect. That takes nuance. Awareness. Emotional intelligence. And in sales, that’s everything. 

 

Let’s be honest: in this market, sales mean survival. You need people with the drive to win, no question. But that instinct, unchecked, can sabotage the very thing you’re trying to build:  long-term client relationships. (Not to mention team morale.) When the pressure’s on, you need people who deliver without damaging the culture. Hustlers can close deals, but if they erode trust or burn out those around them, they’re a liability, not an asset. 

 

In sales, performance comes down to more than skills and experience - it’s how someone navigates pressure, builds trust, and adapts to change. Smart sales leaders hire for the right balance: people who can close the deal and build the trust that keeps clients coming back.  

 

So, what should we be measuring? Can we even assess for traits like empathy or resilience? And if so, how do we separate real strength from surface-level charm? To get a clearer read on that, we draw on insights from our partners at Thomas International, who’ve identified six key personality traits that show up consistently in high-performing commercial hires. Soft skills assessments help take the guesswork out of gut feel. They let you compare candidates fairly. Spot hidden strengths. And see who’s likely to thrive in your context. 

 

 

Here are six traits to hire for - and why they matter now: 

1. Conscientiousness 

Conscientious candidates take ownership and deliver consistently, even under pressure. But there’s a line: too much, and the instinct to get things right can become paralysing. In a tough climate, you need people who never let the details slide, but they know when to stop polishing and start closing. “Make the call with 70% of the data. If you wait for 90%, you’re probably being slow,” is how Jeff Bezos famously put it. You want someone who sees the urgency without panicking, and who knows when good enough is good to go.  

 

2. Adjustment 
Sales isn’t for the faint-hearted. Hearing 'no' ten times a day can wear anyone down, especially in an economic downturn, when commission-based income feels more precarious than ever. Longer sales cycles, tighter budgets, and AI disrupting how people buy and sell, the pressure is relentless. Adjustment is about how people respond to that grind. Can they stay focused, stay human, and bounce back when deals stall? Can they model resilience for the team around them? Adjustment is a survival skill. This trait is non-negotiable, especially if you're thinking about leadership potential.  

 

3. Curiosity 
AI isn't just rewriting the sales playbook - it's tearing pages out while you're still trying to read them. Salespeople are seeing their old prospecting methods automated, their buyers armed with AI-generated research, and their own pitches drafted by tools that didn't exist a year ago. In that kind of landscape, curiosity becomes a core competency. The best salespeople aren’t just curious about products or pitches; they’re curious about how their clients think, how their colleagues work, and how the world is changing. Curiosity fuels learning, adaptability, and critical thinking. It signals big-picture thinking: the ability to zoom out and see beyond this quarter’s numbers. But like any strength, it has a downside. Left unchecked, curiosity can become a distraction, a scatter of good intentions with no follow-through. The goal is to find those who ask sharp questions and know when it’s time to move.  

 

4. Risk approach 
Sales is full of edge-case decisions. The best salespeople can hold their nerve, read the room, and act deliberately. They know when to push, when to challenge, and when to walk away. Depending on the moment, risk-taking can look like confidence or chaos. Not every risk is worth taking, but the right ones can shift a stuck deal or earn a client’s trust. You’re not looking for someone who bets the family farm every time a client hesitates, but you do want people who aren’t paralysed by uncertainty. Risk approach is about judgement, not bravado. And it’s something you can measure: in how people handle conflict, how they make calls under pressure, and how they weigh instinct against insight. 

 

5. Ambiguity acceptance 
Welcome to the age of uncertainty. One day, a trade policy shifts, and your pricing strategy is obsolete. Next, your client’s procurement process is frozen without warning. You're deep in negotiations with a senior contact in government, then the entire department gets laid off. This is today’s operating reality, and it’s why ambiguity acceptance matters. You need people who don’t spiral when plans change, stay composed, and move forward without all the answers. A steady hand when nothing’s clear. How to measure for this trait? Testing how someone reacts to incomplete information or shifting goals says more than a CV ever could.  

 

6. Competitiveness 
No one’s closing deals by playing it safe. But there’s a difference between healthy ambition and ego-driven chaos. As Simon Sinek put it: "You don’t want the kind of person who makes the numbers and makes everyone else miserable." Competitiveness is a superpower in people who can channel their ambition into outcomes that lift the whole team, not just their own standing. Left to run wild, competitiveness creates scorched-earth selling: short-term wins that damage long-term value.  

 

 

These six traits are not a checklist. To find the right fit, you need to think, much, much bigger. Like how these traits show up in the real world, and whether they complement the traits already present in the team. Getting that balance right starts with asking three better questions: 

 

Are we hiring for culture fit or culture add? 
Too often, 'culture fit' becomes code for hiring people who look, think, and act like everyone else. But in sales, what you need is culture add. That means looking beyond the individual. A new hire should bring something the team doesn’t already have. Complementary traits make high-performing teams more resilient, more innovative, and more effective. 

 

Are we testing how people grow, or just how they perform under pressure? 
Role plays, case studies, interviews. They all show performance. But what about learning agility? Coachability? Do we know how this person takes feedback, adapts, or reflects in real time? Growth potential is what carries someone through the ups and downs, especially in sales. And it’s one of the clearest signals of soft skill strength if you know how to look for it. 

 

Are we mistaking charisma for connection? 
High energy can be magnetic in interviews, but charm isn’t the same as empathy. Ask yourself: Will this person build trust? Will they make clients feel heard, or just sold to? Empathy is often quieter than charisma, but it’s what turns quick wins into long-term accounts. It’s measurable, too. Listen to how they describe past clients. How they handle feedback. Whether they use “I” more than “we.” 

 

From smart questions to smarter decisions 
Asking the right questions is what sharpens your judgement. But only if your hiring process is built to surface the answers. That means structure. Real conversations. Tools that reveal how people show up, not just what they say. 

 

Because in sales, the numbers matter. But trust is what keeps the numbers coming. 

At Grafton, we don’t just fill roles. We find the people who move the needle - the ones who sell smart, build trust, and raise the game for everyone around them.  

If that’s what you’re hiring for, get in touch. We’d love to help.